How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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