Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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