New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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