we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
