May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
