somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize