my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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