Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
