Who wears a wallet chain?!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
