Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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