I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
