he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And then my night got REAL pukey
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
