did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
