We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
