He asked me if I "almost moaned"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
