3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
