life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
