I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
