I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
