who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You're like the curious george of whores
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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