Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
