Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
