hell yes lets make some ravioli
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
