I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
