he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
