Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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