Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
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