I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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