question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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