He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
