....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
