Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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