in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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