thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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