Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
