She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
