saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
