I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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