i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
