If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
