thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
