THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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