party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize