Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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