I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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