I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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