I think my fart just growled at me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize