just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
