so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
