I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
