Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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