The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
