College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
