Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Porn is love you can see.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
