brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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