I feel like abortions should bother me more
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize