you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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