i think my mom watched the whole time
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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