Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
