I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
