Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
