Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
